I really don’t have anything to write on my blog, I just opened my laptop to Bluetooth some pictures that was taken awhile ago, but then I started blogging without anything to write at the first place. Hehe :)
My fingers feel like typing and my brain feels like thinking of something.. then Poof!! I thought of my old reflections when I was still a teen. At times when I was in a deep shit, I thought of myself dying for only a day. Yes, I want to die for only a day. Just one day, to be in solitude, and to have a peace of mind and heart. I thought that for that one day in the other side of the world, I can feel and achieve what I can’t feel and can’t have in the world of the sinners. The feeling of being at rest and at peace, the feeling of being so happy and carefree, the feeling of security and the feeling of have nothing to feel. I wonder how beautiful there would be and how peaceful to be there in. After I have thought of that, my memories of my loved ones appear in my mind, and I’ve realized that if that would happen, how would they react? I was so selfish that I didn’t thought of the people who love me. Even if it’s just for a day, I know they will get hurt. I don’t want them to feel the agony of my selfish thought. What if in that one day of my death, there are so many things that would happen? I don’t want to miss anything in my life, knowing that it will only come once in a lifetime. I want to take chances and grab opportunities. I don’t want to miss the feeling of being loved by the people I treasure most in my life. At the end of my selfish thought, I’ve realized that no matter how hard the trials may be, no matter how heavy the burdens are, no matter how much pain I have felt, I still feel love living life like heaven and hell. The most wonderful thing that has happened in my life is when I was born to live it. :)
The endless loving and hurting continuously build a better person in me. :)
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